6 Steps to Saying Sorry

“I’m sorry.”

Seems relatively straightforward, right?

Those two little words certainly don’t seem to warrant a 2000+ word, 3 part, explanatory guide. But the reality is that “I’m sorry”, by itself, usually isn’t enough.

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Seek First to Understand

More than anything else, I would argue that the vast majority of day-to-day conflict is caused by misunderstanding.

Stephen Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, writes that people tend to approach things autobiographically – meaning that our approach to conflict is shaped by our own experience, our own motives, our own fears and frustrations.

This issue with this is when someone’s response or feelings fall outside of our understanding we often handle it poorly.

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The Revised Guide to Surviving a Break Up

The first piece of writing I ever had published was about break ups. I wrote it in my last year of high school and it was titled If your heart was truly broken, you’d be dead. That cynical title sets the tone of the piece pretty well. You can read it here, but before you do, let me give a bit of a disclaimer.

I wrote the article a couple of weeks after breaking up with my best friend. I don’t mean that in the obligatory-refer-to-your-significant-other-as-your-best-friend-in-a-Facebook-anniversay-post kind of way; I mean this girl had been my best friend and partner in crime for several years before we starting going out. Our relationship was a John Green novel waiting to happen. Once we started dating, everyone just assumed it was going to last.

It didn’t.

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Meeting Them on Their Way (Part 3)

Meeting Them on Their Way is a 3-part blog series that takes a critical look at Catholic youth ministry. This series aims to offer insight into several areas that I feel have often been overlooked or under-emphasised. Read Part 2 here.  

Whole Church Ministry

It should come as no surprise that youth ministry is a demanding job. Youth ministers spend hours in overloaded schedules dreaming up speakers, organising events, practising music, setting up sports teams, encouraging outreach to those in need and, of course, preparing food. And then, after all that, sometimes only a few people show up. Burnout is fairly common and the average tenure of youth ministers is dismally short, with many leaving a congregation after less than 2 years in a role.

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Meeting Them on Their Way (Part 2)

Meeting Them on Their Way is a 3-part blog series that takes a critical look at Catholic youth ministry. This series aims to offer insight into several areas that I feel have often been overlooked or under-emphasised. Read Part 1 here

Not Just the Church of the Future

Like most social institutions, the Catholic Church typically views the role of youth as preparatory. The focus is on developing our young people, so that they are solid Catholics by the time they settle into adult life.

There’s nothing wrong with this. Development of our youth – be it social, spiritual, intellectual, etc. – is important. But we need to be careful that a focus on development doesn’t prevent us from challenging young people to use their gifts in the here-and-now.

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Meeting Them on Their Way (Part 1)

“We need a church capable of meeting them on their way. We need a church capable of entering into their conversation. We need a church able to dialogue with those disciples who, having left Jerusalem behind, are wandering aimlessly, alone, with their own disappointment, disillusioned by a Christianity now considered barren.

– Pope Francis, World Youth Day 2013

When Catholics in New Zealand (or pretty much anywhere in the Western world) contemplate our Church’s ministry to young people, we know that something has gone wrong.

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